Things that make me smile, etc.

I am feeling an attack of the rants, but to be honest, I can't seem to organize a serious, focused rant, so I decided to try something cheerful instead.

Things that make me smile.
If you hear me chuckling to myself, it isn't that I am going crazy.  I'm just reliving some little tidbit that brought a smile to my face.  A few choice ones from last night:

• Getting up the nerve to call and invite someone over.  And they were free for the evening and happy to come!  That doesn't make me chuckle exactly, but it gives me a nice warm feeling inside all the same.
• "You can't do a 1000-piece puzzle all in one evening!"  Oh yes we can when Vreneli is here to help!  That girl can put a puzzle together like you wouldn't believe!  And, besides, it was a very easy one.  I love sitting around a puzzle table, chatting and assembling pieces.
• MC with straightened hair.  The double-takes when he walked in.  Everybody approaching it differently--attempt/pretend to ignore it, stare, try not to giggle, openly tease... the line "Didn't feel like curling it tonight."  tee hee!
• MC denies that he is a guest, but cheerfully accepts the epithet "black sheep of the family."  I don't know why that one makes me laugh, but it does.  I mean, if someone would rather be the black sheep of the family than a guest, is that not a profound compliment?
• H offers goodby hug to Mrs. M, and soon everyone is hugging her goodby, including another guest, who, for all I knew, had never even met her before (although you never know... it's a small world).
• Laughing over stories of elderly people with various sorts of dementia.  I wouldn't think it was very funny in fiction, but when it's a first-hand account, it can be.
• Also laughing over "My Life and Hard Times" by James Thurber.  Next time maybe we should try favorite selections from Jerome K. Jerome!?
• The birds.  They are just cute!  Especially the chatty one.  But when I took them up to the "aviary" during supper time, it was really funny how all the other birds came to check them out!  Their parents, in particular, were terribly curious about them.  But the lovebirds and parakeets were also quite interested.  Squirt (the younger parakeet) seemed to be babbling responses to "Cinnamon's" whistles.

It was good to have a pleasant evening with friends after a week that seemed unusually long and tiring (due to headaches and things several days).

One interesting project at work last week was a really good local history interview.  So many fun tidbits to learn!  I hope that interview gets put online sooner than later.  We've got quite a lot of the interviews available by now, just as my boss has time to do that step.  You can look them up at http://ppl.lib.in.us/Local_History&Genealogy/oral_history_videos.html.  More are available at the library, but you can't take them home.

Also, earlier in the week, I was working like mad to get through a particularly tense part of my story (for all my online readers).  So I covered a lot of ground very quickly.  Now I'm trying to figure out where to pick up from there.  The whole novel is written out, so I could go with what I had before.  But there are parts I don't like.  Too much summarizing?  Too much fluff?  Trying to focus on what is really the next most IMPORTANT step, and this isn't it.  But is it an important link to that step?  Not sure.  Waiting for the pieces to "click" in my mind.

And this past week, my grandpa got moved to a different nursing home.  Where he had been, he had an apartment for fifteen years or so, and that seemed to work out pretty well.  He had his little niche, and a handicapped friend that he fed every day (at least since Grandma died).  But when he needed more care himself, we weren't happy with what he was getting.  (Especially the drugs.  Lots of drugs.)  Plus, he was far enough away from family that it was hard to visit him as often as we should have.  Now he is only a few minutes away from where my dad works and where my uncles live, and well within our usual driving distances from home.  We all visited him at the old place on Tuesday, and have been visiting him in smaller groups at the new place.  Friday night I went with my parents and sister H, and we were able to spend some time with him, putting together a gorgeous 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle (it must be AWESOME to be able to paint that well!!!) and listening to Handel's "Messiah" on CD.  A wonderful family moment.

The whole thing of having company on Saturday night was an unexpected pleasure.  My youngest two sisters had invited friends over on Friday, so of course the house had to be cleaned up nicely for that.  Then on Saturday, the house was still tidy, but we found we had NO PLANS!  ... ??? !!!  Time to make some!  So we started brainstorming who to have over.  Hannah offered to invite her friends, and I mentioned some people I could invite, and we started making phone calls.  In the end we had over a nice older couple and two nice young men.  Mom and us girls all pitched in to make lasagne, bread machine bread, garlic bread, a few side dishes, and dessert.  There were a few tense moments, such as when Mom desecrated my Special Smooth Lasagne Sauce by stretching it with cheap chunky sauce from a store--but I don't think any of the guests knew the difference.  And I think--hope--a good time was had by all.

So there!  No rants!  Just things to make me happy! :-)

The Family Vortex

It seems to be a common thing among large families to either give the impression of impossible perfection or of varying levels of dysfunction. Sometimes that depends on which member of the family you get your information from. Or on how badly they wish to make a good impression on you.

Well, be it known, I would be the last person to pretend that I am a perfect person in a perfect family. We have our ups and downs. But so what? I love my family! I love our laughter, our honesty, our drive to be correct, our willingness to take the less-traveled road, our ability to derive immense pleasure from the simplest things, our interest in learning more, etc. And I appreciate our determination to fight through to a resolution, even if we sometimes go about it all wrong. There is a crazy chemistry in a group of so many people so closely intertwined, which may at times be explosive, but which may also be inexplicably sweet... or at least delightfully savory. And I have found that how we are perceived is often based a great deal on (a) the personal "chemistry" and (b) the personal taste ... of the person who finds himself or herself in our midst. That applies both within and outside the family.

But a particular phenomenon that has caught my attention of late is the Family Vortex.

How am I supposed to get to bed at a decent hour when there is still such an interesting conversation going on so far past my bedtime? I try to walk away, but something always pulls me back. Nobody is deliberately trying to draw me in. Oh, occasionally someone might direct a comment or question specially to me just as I was about to try to walk away for the third time. But it isn't from a deliberate effort to make me feel included or anything. They just happened to know that it was a point I might be interested in.

Likewise, how am I supposed to work on my story? Or blog? The afternoon is a good time to blog. Right now the house is pretty quiet, except for occasional bird calls. And I am full of thoughts that are easily put into writing. But that's because everyone else seems to be on computer as well. Bring a few more people home, and there won't be enough computers to go around. Or someone will make a conscious decision to do something else. Inevitably, some conversation will spring up. Something will be said that catches my attention. Soon I will lose my focus on what I want to write here. Or if I were reading a book, I would lose my focus on the book, be it ever so fascinating. My thoughts would begin to flow in other directions. Try as I might to fight against the current and continue with whatever I was doing before, I would inevitably be sucked into the conversation. I could still probably carry on a typed conversation online. But a telephone conversation would be almost impossible to maintain without physically fleeing to another part of the house. And forget any seriously cohesive creative writing!

Certain combinations of us seem to generate this suction force more than others. When every last one of us is home at once, there are often multiple currents, sometimes reinforcing each other, and sometimes creating choppy waves. This may give a distressing impression of a great deal of noise and chaos, without any real sense of purpose. When fewer people are home, we may each carry on doing our own thing, not exactly ignoring each other, but content to pursue our own private occupations and interests. When we are mixed in with other people, away from home, or isolated from each other in another setting, the currents and patterns take different forms and we might find ourselves thinking and acting much more independently. But on most evenings of late, we seem to have just such a collection of people here that one might think we were having a minor family celebration of sorts--judging by the amount of talking and laughing and, yes, good-natured squabbling going on. And as we talk, we push and pull at one another, sometimes teasing and sometimes teaching, sometimes inflicting and sometimes inspiring, but ultimately always loving and usually lingering long after we should have disbanded, at least to our own rooms for the night!

A Ranting Blog

I have been fuming about politics again.

I do not really like this two-party system. I am not wildly crazy about either party. I do not like the way politicians are pressured to fit into a particular set of political views. Political bribery disgusts me, including that in the form of "pork barrel" legislation. I think if we had a few more serious parties, more decisions might be made based on their actual validity. For now, I'm all for having things as evenly divided as possible. Neither party deserves to have control of the decision-making process. Neither one should put on an act of righteous vindication when they get voted in, or of righteous indignation when they get voted out.

I, personally, find it hard to relate well to either party.

Take the question of killing. I am opposed to killing, be it killing unborn babies or killing enemies. War is not overcoming evil with good. And people need to quit thinking they have a right to pleasure without responsibility. Not that society as a whole will ever embrace those two ideas!

Or take the question of gay marriage. Let no one deceive you: the Bible is against homosexuality. Now, interestingly enough, it is not against men hugging or kissing (or crying) or verbally expressing love for one another. It is, however, against same-sex intimacy. HOWEVER--we have to understand something. Freedom of religion is not freedom of one religion to impose its views on everyone else. Basically, my understanding is that the only way to legislate against something is if it can be shown to infringe on the rights of someone else. Wherefore it is not popular to come out of the closet and admit to having a preference for little girls, no matter how intrinsically that may be a part of someone's nature. People recognize that even if such a preference WERE genetic, it would still be harmful to society. Thus, I think both popular sides of the question are somewhat hypocritical.

Also...

I am all for fresh air and clean water. But let's be honest--unless you are a "vegetable or mineral," you emit carbon. And the use of fire has always been important to mankind. So I think the whole thing about carbon emissions is way overrated. Yes, I am disturbed by the sight of smog hovering over a city, and if they can figure out a way to have that many people concentrated in one place WITHOUT getting all that crud in the air, why, more power to 'em. And I like the idea of alternative energy, just because you never know when someone might hit on something that really is vastly superior to the current status quo. And I definitely approve of the wise management of natural resources. But I'm much more concerned about chemicals in food and water supplies, drugged farm animals, uncontrolled erosion and irresponsible disposal of waste, than global warming or the ozone hole.

And it never ceases to appall me how dependent so many people are on so many drugs, and how aggressively drug companies advertise. I recognize that there are people with conditions that require either expensive treatments or miraculous intervention just to live a semi-normal life. However, I am convinced that a TON of medications people are on are NOT helping them. And especially right now I am pretty well disgusted by the marked preference at least some segments of the medical community show for doping people up rather than encouraging them to endure a little discomfort in the interest of long-range improvement. I'm not taking a position one way or the other about pain-killers in general. I'll say it's a personal decision. But our bodies do have some built-in mechanisms for dealing with pain (believe it or not), and giving someone a pain killer before they even ask for it is NOT responsible medical practice IMHO.

I am NOT a fan of big government. I believe there are essential services that only some level of government can provide. But I think government should strive to operate efficiently as well as effectively, and quit trying to micromanage our lives. (I know, it could be worse. A lot worse. But if we want to talk about the Founding Fathers, well, this is certainly not what the war of independence was fought to achieve.)

I think the rich SHOULD give to the poor, but not because someone figures out a legal way to MAKE them, but because it is their moral obligation. There is at least some personal satisfaction in seeing a need and being able to supply it. (And remember, if you are rich and successful it IS partly BECAUSE the poor are willing to work for that pittance you wouldn't dream of lowering yourself to.) But there isn't the slightest bit of satisfaction in being forced to dole out the cash ("or else") in the form of personal taxes, a big chunk of which may go to support causes that you couldn't care less about in the first place. And NO able-bodied person should be content to rely on handouts from anyone. The Bible is pretty blunt on that point: If you don't work, you don't deserve to eat. I guess there are people out there who are so incapacitated that they literally can't do anything useful for anyone. And there are people who work hard all the time and can still barely make ends meet. I'm all for helping people in those situations. The Bible has a lot to say about caring for widows and orphans, too. And I recognize that high unemployment makes it hard even for some who are willing to work to be entirely self-supporting. But helping people to have a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, and food on their table is one thing. Enabling them to maintain a smoking habit, have a large-screen TV and a nice car, new furniture and name-brand clothing... no. And by the way, this is something parents need to be teaching their children. It would be nice if society would reinforce solid values, but teaching them IS primarily the responsibility of parents. You cannot blame the government for children who are leeches if you never expected them to lift a finger around the house when you were raising them.

That reminds me of a rant I could go off on about credit cards, pushy advertisements, and TV. One of the biggest parts of that rant is that advertisers can now happily target anybody, knowing that all that matters is getting them to use that card... after that, it's up to the credit card company to actually collect the money. If the sellers were the ones who actually had to get the person to pay, maybe they'd quit encouraging everyone to live beyond their means. The other part of the rant is the symbiotic relationship between TV and such advertisements, such that I am convinced that TV (and now more and more the Internet) is responsible for increasing discontentment and a sense of entitlement, even while offering the bait of short-term satisfaction in the form of entertainment which, of itself, is often disgustingly shallow, materialistic, unrealistic, and unholy...

But I reckon I've done enough ranting for now. I shall conclude this post and begin a fresh one on a more cheerful topic.

Peace, Joy, and Love

God never promised that the Christian life would be easy. But He did promise that He would never forsake us, and that His grace would always be sufficient for our needs. In His presence, we can have peace and joy, no matter what the circumstances around us. And love is part of our Christian calling.

So why doesn't it all happen automatically?

My purpose is not to go too deeply into the theology of it, but Christian discipleship is a learning process, and a growth. We are not saved by our works, but neither can we expect to be a fruitful, victorious, soldier of Christ without some effort on our part.

We are responsible to:

• Sow good seeds. You'll never get a bumper crop of sweet corn by diligently cultivating crab grass. Likewise, you cannot cultivate love, joy, and peace by investing yourself in gossip, complaining, and controversy. The words you read, listen to, and speak are all seeds. The things you put time and money into are seeds. Good things may come of them, or bad things--useful things, or nothing at all. You are responsible to make wise decisions.
• Repent of sin. If you have done something wrong, don't try to excuse it or justify yourself. It is natural to try to "save face," but in the end, that will gain you nothing. As long as you use the excuse that you can't help it, you will never be able to change. Nor will you ever change while rationalizing unrighteousness. Admit to God that you were wrong. Ask Him to forgive you. Then make up your mind that there is a better way, and look to God for grace to follow it.
• Forgive others. Nothing anybody has ever done to you will ever be fixed by holding a grudge, placing blame, or seeking revenge. What any other person owes you is nothing compared to what you owe God. Remember how freely God has forgiven you, and look to Him to heal the hurts and right the wrongs. Then choose to forget the past and move forward with a clean slate.
• Put faith into practice. God wants you to demonstrate that you believe what He tells you. Study the Scriptures to learn of all the powerful things God has done and has promised to do for you. Tell Him your desires and ask Him to supply your needs. Be ready to follow His directions even when they seem foolish. You can never fully partake of God's awesome power and wisdom if you constantly behave as if you believe you are stronger and wiser than He is.
• Be a light in the darkness. Light, by nature, does not "fit in" with darkness. It does not imitate darkness. It is starkly different from darkness, and does not apologize for being different. The Bible tells us that the world is a place of darkness and that Jesus is the true light. Learn from the example of Jesus, not from the examples of the world. Then put into practice the ways of light.
• Stand in battle against the power of the devil. We can do this through prayer, through spreading the Gospel to the lost, through encouraging other believers, through refusing to partake in any form of deception, through practicing justice in our own lives, and so on. Look for opportunities to overcome the work of the devil--don't wait for him to attack you first. In order not to be overcome of evil, we must overcome evil with good. (This is essentially the active part of being light in darkness.)
• Be merciless on the flesh. The flesh will not want to do and be all these things. The flesh always wants the easy way. It wants to be comfortable and at ease. It wants to put itself first. It looks for happiness in self-gratification, self-justificaton, and self-reliance. The flesh has no interest in spiritual things, for it cannot perceive them. The good news is, the child of God does not have to listen to the flesh. The lie is that the more we say No to the flesh and Yes to God, the more miserable we will be. In fact, the more we reject the claims of the flesh and follow the call of the spirit, the more true happiness we will find.

If we can put these things into practice regularly--and I do not say we can do it without God's grace--we can experience peace, joy, and love no matter what is going on in the world around us.

By the way, this isn't what I originally had in mind to share. I was going to tell about the blessed meeting we had Sunday, the way God spoke to us through the worship, testimonies, and Word, and throw in an inspiring quote from a book I've been reading. But I started with the title, then wrote the opening paragraph, and suddenly found myself launching off with a totally different approach. No doubt I could add to this list, but I think I have written enough for now. If these points do not mean anything to anyone else, at least they have reminded and convicted me of some very important basics that I must not neglect!